Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
