Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
