I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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