So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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