no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have aggressive nipples.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
