You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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