he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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