Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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