she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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