Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
