I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize