I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
