sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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