I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
