Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
