Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize