You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
