I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
