i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize