You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just tell him i said nine months
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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