Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That was before I lit my hair on fire
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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