He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
