Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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