God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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