I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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