i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
