the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
