My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
