So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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