Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
