Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I will pee on everything he values.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
