i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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