Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
