how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
