I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
