Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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