He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
