Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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