was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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