We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
