I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
