hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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