Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
