what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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