I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
