Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
