Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize