just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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