So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
