so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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