I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
