Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
