he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize