you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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