As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Randomize
