Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
