i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
