At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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